2963 Going On 40
by MeliusAritara
Summary: FINISHED! Hermoine wants to know what the trio will look like in their 40's, she and Harry work on a long spell, only to have Ron burst in at a crucial point, talking about a muggle book with 'that fellowship', chaos ensues. FINISHED!
1. Fellowship Who?

Disclaimer: I do not, and never will own the characters of Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings, I only get a day pass to use them, no money is being made on this, yada yada yada.

A note on this; I have checked birthdates of all, and, though I don't have the exact dates on all, I just guessed. Otherwise they are as accurate as you could find, enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

''Moine, do you really think this is such a good idea? I mean there seem to be _a lot_ of ifs in here.' Harry Potter questioned his friend, Hermoine Granger, looking over her shoulder as she carefully read over a spell in a old worn leather bound book, so cliché of the books that frequented Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

'Harry,' She said with a sigh, her tone that of one talking to a three year old. 'This is a fairly simple spell, almost foolproof, and besides, it could possibly be the least dangerous spell we have ever tried.' Harry smiled, remembering the whiskers and fur that had covered her face in second year.

'Speaking of which, you look a little thirsty, would you like a dish of milk?' She gave him a deadly glare.

'There _are_ other spells in here Potter, which could cause you serious damage.' He gave her his most innocent smiled.

It took a few minutes, but finally Hermoine was sure she completely understood what she was supposed to do. She lifted her wand slowly, quietly murmuring the long aged spell, brows knitted in concentration, when the door burst open, and a red headed boy known as Ron Weasley hurried in.

'You two have been holding out on me!' He cried. 'Why didn't you two tell me about this muggle book, with the Fellowship of the Ring n' all?' He cried, holding up a copy of The Lord of the Rings.

'The Fellowship?' Hermoine asked, before she turned back to the spell. 'Oh _no,_ oh no no no no no no!' She moaned. Harry whirled about, what could have gone wrong?

As far as he could tell nothing was. Hermoine stood, looking maybe slightly paler from shock, but other wise quite fine. They both hurried to her side.

''Moine, what is it?' Harry whispered, shaking her arms lightly. She slowly turned, until she faced Ron.

'YOU MORON!' She bellowed, her hands at her sides in tight fists. 'Why in Merlin's name did you come in here blathering on? I was in the middle of a spell- and you come in here going on and I mention the bloody fellowship! Who knows what that could do? Harry, gimme the book.' Harry obediently rushed towards it, lifting it, open to the page, and handed it to her. And she read.

'So...what were you trying to do?' Ron whispered to Harry as she scanned through the pages, her eyes narrowing at some points, at others she shuddered.

'Well, we were trying to see what we would all look like at 40, about five days after each of our birth dates.' Harry glanced back at Hermoine as she swore. 'Should we go into hiding at the Shrieking Shack?' He queried, she didn't smile.

'We are in definite trouble.' She said quietly. Both boys waited for her to continue. 'When Ron came rushing in, I sort of mixed up two words, and then said the fellowship in place of our names...in short we might have a bunch of creepy men and other creatures running about the place.' Harry looked distinctly uncomfortable.

'I know I should know this, but, the fellowship?' He muttered, glancing between them. Ron held up the book in his hands, a rather thick paperback with **THE LORD OF THE RINGS** printed on the front, underneath and behind the letters was scenery, trees, bushes, and many of what might have been houses, he pushed up his glasses looking closer. 'Who are the little guys at the bottom with the, is that a horse?' Ron grinned.

That would be the fellowship with ol' Bill the pony, did you really never read this? Living around muggles, I would think you would have at least heard of it.' In response, he shrugged. Ron sighed, in unison Hermoine.

'You two are becoming entirely too much alike.' He mumbled, glancing back at the book. 'Who wrote-' Ron flipped it over and in somewhat smaller writing read **J.R.R. TOLKIEN**.'Oh.' He said, not sure what else to say.

Ron looked around, an excited spark in his eye. 'So, where are they? Where will they appear?' Now it was Hermoine who looked uncomfortable.

'Oh, um, well for this, I don't, well know.' She gave a weak smile. The boys glanced at one another, then back at Hermoine. 'Harry...the map?' He nodded, they snatched up their things and sprinted almost all the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

'S-sticklebats.' Harry breathed to the Fat Lady. The painting swung open, and they nearly jumped through the opening in their haste. Harry led them up the stairs and into the dormitory, to his bed, where he thrust back the lid of his trunk, shoving stuff one way and the other.

It took almost five minutes, but finally he pulled it out. 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.' He muttered, tapping the parchment, watching as the map slowly appeared. Three pairs of eyes scanned the page, three pairs all stopped at the same time, staring at a bundle of names. Names like Legolas, Pippin, Boromir, and Olorin. All the names situated right in the middle of the Headmaster's office.

The pairs met, and in unison their owner's voices rose together.

'Shit.'

'Owww...' Muttered a young looking hobbit by the name of Frodo Baggins.

'Likewise, Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo?' Sam wise Gamgee, another hobbit with sandy-haired stared wide eyed.

'Sam, what _are_ you going on- well bless me! Frodo! You _are_ here.' And with that the two hobbits took Frodo into a bone crushing hug.

'Oh stop!' He laughed. 'Of course I'm here, though, I must say, I do not know where _here_ is.' There was suddenly some noise from underneath them, curses, and someone, a deep baritone swearing all hobbits to a very grizzly demise if they did not get off _now._

The three rolled off what they now realized to be a living heap, the rest unfolding from the pile grumbling as they did so, and very suddenly a small sniffle rose above it all.

'Where, where's father?' Came a tiny voice, as high as a blue jays whistle, all there praying that it would not start to cry.

Frodo walked towards the noise, to see a small thin child, clad all in green with long pale blonde hair, kneeling, well actually just bending ever so slightly to look at him. 'Now now, what seems to be the trouble child?' He whispered.

'If I didn't know him better, I would say it was one of Legolas'.' Came an amused voice, that of Meriadoc Brandybuck. Pippin looked extremely perplexed.

'Ah, Merry, aren't you supposed to be in the South Farthing on business?' He asked, earning a blank look.

'Er, no...not today at any rate.' He chuckled, messing the 'younger' hobbits hair. There was a slightly annoyed sniff behind them, they glanced back as Frodo quietly tried to quiet the child, and took in four others they had missed, and one of them-

'BOROMIR?' They all cried together, gaping at the obviously quite alive man.

'But, you died!' Sam choked.

'Yeah me n' Pip watched you!' Merry blurted, and then paled. 'Oh Valor, please, please don't be a wraith come to exact revenge!' Pippin hid behind him, and Sam stood rather awkwardly beside them.

'A what? Why would you think I was a- why the devil would I be dead?' He looked at the three. 'Er, where did our camp go? And Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Gandalf for that matter?'

'Someone mention my name?' A gruff voice piped up, a dwarf, with a very short beard (for a dwarf mind you.) and shoulder length hair, Gimli.

'And mine?' A young man queried, looking to still be a teenager, Aragorn.

'M-my name is Legolas.' Whispered the child. That still left one unaccounted for.

'Who're you?' Asked Sam, forgetting his fears of the seemingly undead Boromir. He received a sneer.

Before them, the stranger stood, with long black hair, a pale, sharp face, and cold blue eyes. 'If you all must know, I am called Olorin.' He sniffed glancing about him.

The small elfling Legolas suddenly brightened. ''Lorin? Oh that's Gandalf's old name! Father explained t'me how he changed it when he came over the sea.' His eyes shone, staring up at him. Olorin made a noise.

'Children.' He grumbled, glancing at the hobbits too as he said this. They glared.

'We are no children! We are all hobbits and well out of our tweens, I myself am 40, Merry's 48, Sam a year younger, and Frodo is getting to be all too old.' He teased the 'elder' hobbit.

Merry gave him a pitying smile. 'Er, Pip? You are only 32, still in your tweens, I'm 40 though.'

Sam sighed shaking his head. 'The both of you are wrong. I'm 40, he's 41, and you are just out of your tweens, for proof, my Rosie and I have two little ones, and a third on the way.' He said with a smug look.

At this, the three started to argue loudly. Frodo frowned

'Stop!' He called over them, they instantly fell silent. 'Now, I would like to ask you all a question, separately.'

They nodded.

'Sam, how old do you think you are?'

'40.'

'And Merry, what about you?'

'40 of course.'

'Do I even bother asking Pippin?'

'You heard me the first time.'

'Alright, um how about you, Legolas right?'

'I'm 40.' He said absently, staring at the small toy bow in his hands.

'Umm, oh dear, I seem to have forgotten your name, Ara-drat.'

He chuckled 'Just call me Strider, and I am also 40.'

'Ages better'n Bilbo and Frodo.' Grinned Pippin.

'And you three?' Frodo asked, giving up on names for now.

'40.' They said in unison.

They stared at one another.

'I won't even bother to answer that question, now we have to figure out, what the devil is going on.'

They stood, or sat in complete silence for a few minutes, only broken when a voice came from behind them.

'I don't mean to be rude, but who are all of you, well I know that, well then, I will settle on what in Merlin's name are you doing in my office?'

TBC

Thanks to my two big betas, Bunny and Ricky, useless pests that they are...


	2. I Have A Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters created by J.R.R. Tolkien or J.K. Rowling, no money is being made from this, but if anyone wants to send some out of the kindess of their heart I sure wouldn't complain.

Note: As I have gotten some...worries, I will say it now, there will be _absolutely_ no pairings with HP characters and LotR characters, I promise you that, 'sides, unless I brought Snape in, we are talking about three seventeen year old kids and a bunch of 40 year olds! There is something just, just creepy there! And if you haven't read the darn books by these two wonderful authors!!!! You are missing out if you don't! Oh, and I looked at those stories, very...different. ;  
  
Warning: Never smack yourself with large books, especially involving these books, you may damage the book, and it may be unreversable.

CHAPTER TWO

'Oh how are we gonna get them out of there, how are we gonna explain this, what will Dumbledore think, we could get expelled!' Ron paced back and forth between the two rows of beds, seeming not to breathe at all during his rant.

'Ron, since when do you worry about getting expelled?' Asked Harry, after all they did come perilously _every_ year, he thought that really shouldn't be one of his top priorities, well, except what happened in 5th year. He quickly stopped that train of thought, the past is the past he said firmly to himself.

Ron gave him a look. 'Well, whenever we were in danger of being expelled before, it was for good reason, sneaking passed Fluffy, freeing the hippogriff, the polyjuice potion,' He smirked at Hermoine.

'Would you both _please_ give it a rest? How was I supposed to know it was cat hair? It was the same bloody colour as her hair!' She snatched the map from Harry, it looked as if they all had finally become untangled, the hobbits' names and Legolas' clustered together and the others spaced apart, Olorin's the furthest of all. 'Wonder what is happening now, oh, Dumbledore is moving.' They all quietly watched, what would happen next? Would they be found out?

'That's it.' Ron said sternly. 'We are going and finding a way to get them out of their, I have a plan.'

'Why doesn't that help my nerves?' Mumbled Hermoine to Harry, who coughed to hide his laughter.

'Just hurry up.' He grumbled, grabbing both their arms.

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'I understand you all seem to be out of place, and therefore a bit uncomfortable, so I will say it once again, what in Merlin's name are you doing in my office?' They all stared rather dumbly at the headmaster.

'_He_ looks like Gandalf.' Whispered Legolas, frowning up at Olorin.

'Gandalf the Violet?' Ventured Pippin taking in the robes he was wearing, he was greeted with laughter.

'Hardly my dear. Pip was it? I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.' He stood, walking towards them, offering Olorin of all of them his hand.

He received a cold smile, and a slight glance at his hand.

Frodo stood straight. 'I am very glad to meet you sir, and am quite sure I have no idea why I am here- did you say wizardry?.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Yes I did, now where are you all from?' He said in a slightly sterner tone, looking at the elfling.

'Shire.' Four voices said in unison.

'Mirkwood.' The tiny elfling.

'Rivendell, sort of.' Aragorn.

'Gondor.' Boromir, who was giving Frodo funny glances.

'Misty Mountains.' Came Gimli.

'I come from the Grey Havens myself.' Olorin said. Surprise passed through much of the crowd.

'Gandalf came from across the sea? Who woulda thunk it?' Murmured Sam, staring with mild surprise at him.

'It is Olorin thank you, and_ what_ pray tell are _you_.' Sam glared.

'You should know most of all _Gandalf_. I am a hobbit, as plainly as Mr. Merry, Mr. Frodo and Pippin are.' He crossed his arms in front of him, glaring up at the extremely snooty wizard.

He rolled his eyes and walked to a chair sitting down with smooth grace, his sharp features almost elvish. 'I have no reason to know you, or what the rest of you are, frankly I would like to get home as soon as possible, and forget all of you.' Pippin pushed the tip of his nose up, and nodded towards Olorin, making Merry snicker.

'Hobbits.' He grumbled, shaking his head.

'Its Gandalf alright.' Murmured Pippin with a smile.

'I am sure that I am glad to meet you all, though, frankly, I have never heard of any of the places you speak of. It seems you are all out of your element.' Dumbledore took out his wand and quickly transfigured eight more chairs from a handful of knuts, motioning for them all to sit.

The hobbits clung to the edges, dragging themselves up on, for them, the oversized chairs, before sitting back and seeming to almost disappear in the cushions. Legolas, at their size, easily leapt up onto one of the many seats, sitting on his legs for extra leverage, right near the edge.

Dumbledore quickly moved around his desk, taking his seat again. 'Alright, now we are all properly introduced, lets see if we can figure out how to get you all home.' He paused for a moment. 'Does the name Voldermort mean anything to you?' He questioned, glancing about, all faces looked blank. 'Just checking.' He explained absently.

'Do you know of The Dark Lord, Sauron?' Queried Boromir, eyeing him critically, obviously thinking of Sarumon's betrayal.

Dumbledore shook his head, glancing at all of them, noticing that the hobbits known as Merry, Pippin, and Sam, looked ill at the name. 'I take it that he is like our Voldermort.' He mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose, before pulling out a large book.

'Butterscotchsicle.' He murmerrred tapping it with his wand, it immediately sprung open, though the pages were blank.

'Now lets say, we look for Mirkwood, hmm?' He asked, smiling at Legolas, then tapping the book again, speaking. 'Show me Mirkwood.'

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'_This_ was you big plan?' Hermoine said disbelievingly, staring at Ron.

He sighed. 'Well, they have to come out of their sometime, at least one of them, then we can talk to them and explain, and you can find a way to send them back, the whole fixing the messes is really your area of expertise.' He gave her the sweetest smile possible, she cuffed his ear.

'Ron, I gotta agree with Hermoine this time, this is a lousy-' Harry shut his mouth as the Gargoyle creaked, moving slowly. 'Never mind...' He muttered, they waited, all suddenly a little more thankful for Harry's invisibility cloak.

'...Way, it isn't that far.' They heard Dumbledore's voice drifting down to them, just before he came into sight.

'So-so we aren't real?' Came a youthful voice, 'Frodo.' Mouthed Ron for Harry's benefit, though he had no idea who it was. He just saw a creepy little kid with _really_ big, hairy feet.

'Those are the most disturbing feet I have_ ever_ seen.' He whispered back to him, Ron barely stifled his giggles, Hermoine rolled her eyes.

'He is a hobbit Harry, of _course_ his feet aren't the same as ours.' She murmured matter-of-factly.

'That is just fine, I still don't know _what_ that is.'

They watched as they passed, Ron waiting for something. Suddenly they saw another hobbit pass, just behind all the others, apparently he had stubbed his toe and had taken a moment to rub it, when Ron saw him, he dove, putting his hand firmly over his mouth and tugging him back.

He attacked Ron, desperately trying to get free of his grasp, Ron started to hastily whisper in his ear, and he stilled.

'This is Samwise Gamgee.' He said with a grin to the other two, Harry gave a weak smile.

'Nice to meet you.' He put out his hand, Hermoine nodded to him, smiling.

'So, who are all of you? Begging yer pardon.' Sam asked, shaking Harry's hand.

'That is Harry Potter, Hermoine Granger, and my full name is Ronald Weasley, stick to Ron.'

Sam nodded, taking it in stride. 'So, you said you knew what happened to all of us, right?'

The trio nodded, Hermoine glaring noticeably at Ron.

'Don't give me that look 'Moine, it wasn't my total fault!' She and Harry stared at him hard. 'Well it couldn't comp-'They continued to stare. 'Okay, I shouldn't go barging in on you in the middle of a spell, but, I didn't even know what you were doing! If you had simply let me in on it, it would have never happened.'

'Ron, we could have let you know, put up warning sides, and a layer of wards, and you still would have done it.' Ron glared, turning back to Sam.

'Now Sam, may I call you Sam?' He nodded. 'We need you to get the rest of the Fellowship away from Dumbledore and somewhere we can hold you till we find a way to send you all back. Can you do that?'

'Pfft, child's play, where and when should we meet you?' They glanced at one another. 'Whats say we find you, midnight, alright?' Sam nodded, and turned, running to try and catch up with the group.

'He is so small, and what the hell are with _those feet_? And don't give me 'he's a hobbit Harry, 'cause I have no clue what that means.' Harry said in touchily, Ron laughed.

'Ah, finally I get to explain something to you; a hobbit is a humanoid creature, living in the Shire. They dislike the 'big people' as in us humans and-.'

'Have you been taking lessons from Hermoine? I mean, up to a point it was amusing, now you are just scaring me.' Ron swatted him.

'Well you did ask, don't complain to me.' Hermoine and Harry laughed at him.

'Good lord Ron, you _do_ sound like me! My own little apprentice.' She said, fondly ruffling his hair.

He shoved her hand away. 'Oh, come on, we have to look up a way to get out of this, lets go-'

'To the library.' Harry and Hermoine said together, ducking an attack from Ron, running away from him, laughing and throwing more insult/jokes at him.

'I swear, if there is no way to return them. I'll-' He started, cut off by Hermoine.

'You'll what? Hide away and hope for the best?' She rolled her eyes.

'Well, pretty much.' He said, walking ahead of the other two.

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'So, Mr. Dumbledore, where might I ask, are you leading us?' Sam asked a moment after he caught up with the group, Frodo gave him a curious look, but said nothing.

'I would be taking you to a wing in which you can be put up in, I am sure it will be comfortable enough for now, I hope so at least, though, in these old castles you never know. And that makes me think of-' He cut himself off. 'Sorry, I do tend to get a little carried away at times when I talk.' He chuckled.

'He is lots more like Gandalf.' Legolas said firmly, looking around the group, as if daring any of them to disagree.

'He does, wonder if they might be brothers or something.' Frodo said to him with a smile, the elfling beamed.

'If he has a brother, he must have a mum n' father, boy they must be _really_ old.' He said, more to himself, his eyes widening in amazement, Frodo smiled.

Aragorn looked about the small group, frowning. ' There is one thing that is bothering me, why were _we_ the ones to be picked? How in the world are we linked?' Three hobbits and one human shared a look.

'Uh...'

'Well...'

'How much you can know, I'm not-'

'We traveled together.' Boromir said casually, Sam, Pippin and Merry looking decidedly uncomfortable.

'Er, right.' Merry said, glancing at the others, waiting for a sign, he knew they knew nothing of the fellowship, and wouldn't know why in the world they would traveled together.

The reactions were varied, somewhat. Aragorn gave a cough, staring at them all, as if trying to remember any of them, Olorin gave a disgusted sniff, looking down his nose at them all, Gimli stared at Legolas, obviously disbelieving he would travel with an elf, no matter the age of the creature, Frodo was staring at his two cousins and gardener, frowning, Legolas was playing with some crumbling brick he had picked up, seemingly unaware of what was being said.

'Alright, why would we travel together? I mean, I can understand Gandalf, er, Olorin, I have known him my whole life, I think, and Legolas also...uh, if he were to grow up a couple thousand years or so.' He muttered, staring at the small creature that was _supposed_ to be a deadly archer, who was now, poking a small furry thing he had found, giggling.

'That would be the aanbiddelijk, cute isn't he?' Legolas smiled up at the old headmaster.

'anbde- aanbideelikj, that's a funny name.' He said thoughtfully, looking at it closely, a soft high squeaking purr came from it, widening his smile.

Sam was feeling unnaturally tense, when would they get to the rooms? This was one reason he did not mind Gandalf sailing, did all old wizards just dodder about like this, or was it just these two? He pondered this as he made his way to the out of the way, rarely used wing.

'Here we are, this is a nice, out of the way, rarely used wing, things should be fairly quiet down here.' He gestured to a room, a meeting area, he explained, then took them each to their own room. They settled comfortably. One hobbit however, waited, listening to retreating footsteps, once he was sure they were a ways away, he quickly stood, leaving his room to knock on the doors of all the others.

'I think we have some help....' And he slowly began to explain about the trio he had just met.

----------------------------------------------------------------

TBC

Aanbiddelijkadorable in Dutch, seriously, go ahead, look it up.

For those of you who don't know it visit !!! I would look up legendaryfrog in the search engine, the LotR parodies are hee-larious, good ol' Wayne, don't you just love goblins?


	3. Books, Pass Time Or Passion?

Diclaimer: No, I don't own J.K. Rowling.s characters, nor J.R.R. Tolkien's. Shrugs Couldn't think of anything vaguely amusing, damn Naruto, CURSE YOU FOR BEING SO WATCHABLE!!!!  
  
Notes: Thank you all for your reviews!!!squeal I love em all! If anyone would like to beta for my stories, let me know, my betas have sort of, snuck out on me. Anyone? Any takers? Nothing? Merp...

Apologies!!!!! I know it has been forever since I updated anything, but with school starting and all ... its like all my teachers expect me to do work! As an apology I doubled the size of this chapter, no longer a puny three pages of typing!!! How you may ask? Why by fitting in typing time at 2 in the morning of course!

Enjoy!(I just love winging these plots and I also mean to overdue the cat mistaken for a human hair deal, heheh, I love to torture the characters I write of...mwahaha)

CHAPTER THREE

Ron snored softly beside the common room fire, curled up on one of the many couches, looking like a very rumpled cat.

Harry stretched, suppressing a yawn, glaring at his friend, could this be the same guy who had forced them to take the library books away, three armloads each, Harry wasn't even through one.

Hermoine neatly tossed a book to the side, picking up another; she had made it through almost all of her books and was eyeing Ron's pile.

'Just take some if you want.' He said touchily, glancing at his own seemingly endless pile in front of him.

She took up 12 books in his pile, settling them beside the three she had left, immediately snatching another up, her eyes scanning it over. She finished the book in its entirety in under fifteen minutes... it was over thirteen hundred pages long.

Harry stared.

'Hermoine...how _do_ you do that?' He queried, staring at the cover of the next book she had picked up, _A Guide To Other Worldly Portals Vl. 22. _Written by _Exodus Whorl_... Of course.

She shrugged, wrapped up in her reading.

He stretched carefully. ''Moine, what time is it?'

'11:46, why?' She mumbled, halfway through the next book, Merlin he scared her sometimes.

'WHAT!?!' He squawked, jumping up and shaking Ron furiously.

'Hhh-? Spin hoektand!' He mumbled, sitting up blearily. 'Oh, Harry! What?'

Harry swatted him. 'It is 11:46-'

'11:47.' Hermoine cut in.

'11:47.' He repeated.

'What's your point?' Ron mumbled, stretching.

'Those hobbits and people, we have to meet them in thirteen min-'

'Twelve minutes.' Hermoine cut in again.

'Twelve minutes.' He finished, this got Ron up and hopping.

'Grab the cloak, grab the map, come on!' He clung dangerously tight to the book in his hands, dashing up into the boys' dormitory, in less than a minute coming back down, the silvery cloak draping over one arm, the map held tightly in his fist, very quickly a fistful of both Harry and Hermoine's robes joined it.

'Hurry up!' He growled, dragging them off.

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'Saaaaaaaaaaam.' Pippin whined, yawning. 'Why do we have to wait up for these mystery kids? It must be after midnight by now!' He scratched his head, letting loose another long yawn.

Legolas was snuggled down, between Aragorn and Gimli, Gimli, looking decidedly uncomfortable, frowned down at him continually... as he hugged the Aanbiddelijk to his chest.

'Hmph, elves...' Boromir, Sam, Merry, And Pippin rolled their eyes, Merry gave Pippin a slight poke.

Pippin jumped, turning to Merry, who quickly muttered something to him, Pippin grinned darkly.

'You know Gimli, I have never known you to be so rude to your friends.' Chirped Pippin, this of course, being a complete and utter lie.

Gimli stared blankly at them. 'Pardon?'

'Oh yes,' Started Merry. 'You two are the closest of friends, after our travels, you two went off on your own, visited some caves, and the forest.' Both Gimli and Legolas started at this.

'What?!?' They said in unison. Legolas started giggling.

'Don't be silly, I wouldn't ever visit big, scary, dark, yicky, cold caves!' Gimli grunted his agreement, though he looked a little cross at the tiny elf s description.

Boromir looked curiously at them. 'Did you? Well, that confirms a lot of questions.' He took out a small scrap of parchment, jotting something down on it. 'And I have just won one of the largest bets in all of Gondor...and Rivendell.'

No one seemed to really get what he meant.

There was a sudden pounding at the door, Frodo hopped up, answering it.

'Hel-' No one was there, a light breeze blew through the halls. 'Umm, is it normal for no one to be at a knocking door?' Asked Frodo turning back.

'Yes, but that's only if Peeves is in a good mood, otherwise you would be sopping wet-' A mystery female voice suddenly came through the room.

'Or get beamed in the head with something-' Came a second, male voice,

'Or both.' A third, another male.

Legolas plucked up the toy bow off his back, Boromir and Aragorn took out swords, Gimli tugged off his axe, Olorin did nothing, and the hobbits froze.

Suddenly three heads appeared in the air, a red head, frizzy brown, and jet black.

'Ack!' Sam cried 'Where'd your bodies go?' He took quick steps towards them, shaking off Frodo's restraining arm.

A freckled hand joined the heads, as Ron pulled off the cloak. Oh relax guys, sorry we're late.' The latter comment pointed at Sam.

'S'alright, not like we had much to do, what is all that in your hands?' Ron held Harry's cloak, which he quickly handed back, the book he had been reading, and the Marauder's Map. Ron handed him the map.

'See the names?' Sam looked over it slowly.

'So this is how you know where we were.' He muttered, looking over all the names, handing it back after a moment.

'These are the kids?' Frodo took a step forward, Sam nodded.

'Creepiest eyes...' Muttered Harry to Hermoine, who swatted at him, grinning. 'What?'

'Nothing,' she muttered back. 'Just, they made these movies for Lord of the Rings, and everyone made fun of the actor who played Frodo, I just couldn't stand those eyes either.' They grinned at each other, the looks quickly wiped clean by an indignant noise from Frodo.

'Sorry.' They said in unison.

'So, why are we here?' All eyes were on the trio, Ron was bumped forward.

'But you guys started all this! I just...er made a little error.'

'Barging into the room we were in, blaring on about that book, making me mess up and accidentally call them here!' He and Hermoine glared daggers at each other. Harry took a very tactical step to one side and forward, watching the pair.

Sometimes, they scare me....He thought to himself.

'So, er, you, since you aren't having some sort of staring contest would you be so kind?' Harry looked down at Merry, a truly blank look on his face.

'Oh, uh, sure, let me see. Hermoine and I were in this secluded room doing a spell, with a lot of tweaks to change what it can do, we wanted to see what we would look like when we were all 40. Ron came in at a crucial moment, talking about you nine, she accidentally read the wrong word, mentioned what he just said, and, voila, you guys popped up in Dumbledore's office.'

The Fellowship stared.

'Uh, spells? Like the lights and stuff that Gandalf made come out of his staff?' Asked Frodo, staring with new found interest at all three of them.

'Yeah, I guess, unless he used a light bulb.' It was lost on them all, Hermoine being to intent on trying to kill Ron with her stare to notice.

'Right... So, you all just made a mess of some spell? That's it?' Harry nodded.

'You foolish children.' Frodo muttered, shaking his head. Harry _really_ didn't like this guy-er-hobbit...thing.

A yelp suddenly echoed through the room, it came from Ron. Did Herm' really...?His thoughts were cut off by the sight he took in, Ron hopping up and down, clutching his backside, Hermoine falling into a fit of giggles. It was then he also noticed the fact that Legolas' bow held no arrow.

He snickered, as he saw it sticking out of poor Ron.

'OOW!' Squawked Ron, as he tugged it out, a string of curse words leaving his mouth, Harry never realised until then just how many there were.

'Sounds like some sort of orcish.' Murmured Boromir, frowning.

'What in Merlin's name is orcish?' Harry asked, mentally kicking himself for his deprivation of fine literature when he was younger.

'Bad guy talk in the book.' Ron mumbled, still gingerly rubbing the spot.

Harry stared.

''Kay...' The hobbits, except, of course, for Frodo shuddered.

'Awful things, they are, can't stand 'em.' Muttered Sam to himself, Merry and Pippin nodded in agreement.

'Sam, it seems to me you having been listening to Bilbo's old stories a bit too much.' Frodo chuckled, it was silenced by three pairs of eyes staring hard at him.

'I'm afraid not sir.' He murmerred, Boromir patted his arm.

'Er, so, you brought us here with a spell?' Aragorn quickly said, effectively changing the subject.

'Oh yeah, how long after our 40th birthday were you aiming for again Herm'?'

'Five days after our birthdays.' The three hobbits looked at Boromir, frowning.

'Boromir, you had your birthday while we were traveling? Why didn't you say something? We could have dished out an extra piece of lembas or something.' Sam said, working to keep his face straight, Merry and Pippin were giggling behind their hands, even Boromir chuckled.

'Ah yes, some more lovely lembas, such a rare treat to us travelers.' Sam's face was slowly turning red as he tried not to laugh, Frodo was utterly confused.

Hermoine plopped a bag on the floor suddenly, with a loud bang. Everyone jumped.

'Sorry.' She muttered, rummaging through it, pulling out a small armload of books after a moment. 'Here you go, we should all get cracking.'

With that she plopped down on a large well padded chair in one corner and began to read.

Legolas stared curiously at her, before timidly walked over to the bag, tugging out a book, plopping down at her side.

He too, began to read.

'Looks like Hermoine just made another little follower.' Harry whispered, elbowing Ron lightly, a snicker escaping his lips.

Ron grunted, ignoring him completely.

He took his book and sat down as far from the both of them as the room would allow, Harry still smiling after him,

before he too, took a book, sitting down in another chair.

'Well, aren't you going to take a look? The more eyes to look, the less time it takes.' Hermoine said suddenly, staring closely at the eight who still had yet to pick up a book.

Aragorn moved first.

Picking up two handfuls of books, he handed them out to the others, before opening his own, the 23rd volume in Ms. Whorls line.

How many are in this line? Aragorn wondered Idly, flipping through it, he paused.

'Umm, I was wondering, what, specifically are we looking for?'

Hermoine gave him a hard stare before answering.

'I don't quite know-' Ron and Harry stared speechlessly at her.

'Something,' she continued, 'on how accidental portals are created, and how to fix the problem, or if this sort of problem is completely irreversible.' She started to read again.

'I-irreversible?' Murmured Pippin, looking quite a few shades paler than only a moment before.

Hermoine nodded.

'Yes, you heard me, we can only hope it is, but such old books as the ones we used don't come with a lot of extra bits, nothing to help you if something goes wrong, quite frustrating at times.' Harry snickered, meowing softly.

Hermoine unconsciously ran through a mental list of all the lethal combinations of spells she knew, her wand hand twitching slightly.

'You are just hilarious Harry.' She hissed, hiding behind her book, the pages she gripped looked a little more torn than before.

They were silent, looking through their books for a good three hours, only paused by someone checking with Hermoine to see if this or that bit of information might be helpful.

'How about you write down whatever passage you are looking at, and I can check it over later?' She said in a calm, controlled voice after Pippin had asked her for the fourteenth time.

Silence, for one solid hour, not even a sneeze or yawn disrupting it.

There was a cough, finally, at the end of that hour, all ignored it, thinking it to be one of the others.

It came again.

'Is the air here bothering one of you?' Hermoine asked kindly, the air here was probably a lot worse, full of far more pollution than their where they came from, to could make them feel quite sick for all they knew.

They all shook their heads.

'No Miss Granger, that would be me, and not to worry, it is purely due to age.' A voice sounded behind them ... a voice that belonged to...

'Its Gandalf's brother.' Whispered Legolas, peeking at Dumbledore over Hermoine's arm.

He chuckled.

'Not quite Legolas my boy,' He paused, looking pointedly at Harry, Ron, and Hermoine.

'Why am I not surprised that you three are involved?' He chuckled again, the trio looking at the ground, the walls, anywhere but him.

'Professor...what are you doing here?' Harry finally asked, looking just to the left of his eyes.

'Simply, you tripped about seven or eight of my surveillance spells just walking down here, stopping at this particular door set off another twenty, you get the idea.' Oh boy, did they.

'Um...Professor, why did it take you so long to get down here? I mean, those sorts of spells have instantaneous warning, don't they?' Surprisingly, Ron questioned.

'Mum's been really paranoid about all of us for a few years now,' No one needed to ask why, certain people didn't know there was a reason to ask why. 'And I have run into them...a lot.'

Dumbledore came and sat down on one of the few couches, beside the hobbits, all of whom nervously smiled at him.

'And to answer you question, I could see who had entered the room, and I knew you three would never even bother trying to hurt them, so I took my time, took the long way, chatted to a few pictures, I must take nightly strolls more often, so many faces I had forgotten as time had passed, so many paintings you only see at night.' He smiled wistfully, unwrapping a lemon candy he had just conjured up in a bowl, along with many others, sitting in the middle of the table.

'Um... sir, are we, I mean, will we be expelled for this?' Hermoine asked timidly, Ron and Harry both leaned in, waiting for his answer.

'For what, Miss Granger, for practising a spell? For making a mistake? If we were to expel for every mistake ever made in a spell, or potion,' He stared pointedly at Hermoine, who frowned at the ground. 'we would have absolutely no students! Heavens, even I would be in that boat.' He smiled again, he always seemed to be laughing or smiling, it was wonderfully annoying really.

Now, what exactly did you three do?' So, once again, the three were telling what had occurred, Dumbledore listening without a word.

'Well, a lesson is most definitely learned here, don't barge into rooms, tiptoe in, and find out what is going on before making your presence known. I was taught that by one of my professors many, _many_ years ago.' He sighed. 'That rabbits ears were just never the same.'

'...' was the general thought spoken on this.

'Uh, okay, sir.' Ron carefully said, lost on what else to say.

Dumbledore suddenly moved, walking towards Hermoine's open pack.

He picked up a book and sat down.

'So, I take it we are looking up on how to send them back?'

-----------------------------------------------------------

TBC

....I really need betas don't I? Ugh. Pleasepleaseplease, there must be someone out there with excess time on their hands!!!!!!!!!


	4. Books and Ink

Disclaimer: Don't own any of them, not Ron, or Herm, none whatsoever…sniffle

Notes: Thanks for reviews will be at the bottom from here on in.(I have been noticing the fact that many authors thank all personally, I felt I was being positively rude! Apologies)  
Also, I am going away for the holidays and realized I had nothing for this story, I quickly wrote this out, apologies, it is only two pages long, and is a tad rushed, don't worry when I get back I will update this and Broken, and I might just have my Naruto one ready, yup, I have a quarter of that done, just a matter of typing the quarter out, it was originally just for a friend, but she gave me permission to use it here too, so........

On with the story!

CHAPTER 4

'Three days of searching and nothing!' Ron groaned, tossing down another book, his sixth, he was getting faster…and faster.

Not as fast as Hermoine, but he now surpassed Harry, he had even caught him reading in bed one night, a book not even related to portals and things it was… light reading, granted the whole mess had started because Ron had been reading, but still…

Meh, imitation is the sincerest form flattery was it not?

The trio had left many bags of books down with the Fellowship, telling them to write out the information along with book and page number, just in case, before they left to go back to the library. Harry could feel his eyes ache at the thought of all that tiny print.

Harry had just finished his fifth book, and reached for another, he had only found three points in the last one. 'Moine, do you think that there may be other ways to send them back? I mean besides portals and things, some sort of undo spell, like the control z on a computer?' Hermoine frowned, thinking, as Ron immediately started asking questions about the "compooter" and how a z could control something. Harry sighed, another long night lay in front of them all.

A sudden scream broke the silence of the library. The three jumped up, startled, before they started for the door. They looked up and down the hall, seeing nothing, waited.

Sure enough, a few moments later, a small furry ball came speeding around a corner, followed by a cackling Peeves.

Harry ran in front of the speeding furry creature, picking it up and dragging it back towards the library. Peeves scowled.

'What th'hell do you think you are doing Potty? That's mine to play with as I please.' He growled, tossing a dagger after the pair. He was a good shot, it hit Harry square in the chest, sending a horrified shriek and yell from Ron and Hermoine's direction (For the sake of poor Ron's masculinity, Hermoine shrieked as far as anyone knew.) Peeves let out a cackle, before speeding off, his telltale raspberries following. Ron and Hermoine ran over towards their friend, and sure enough the dagger stuck straight out…then why was Harry still standing?

'Relax.' Harry grumbled, tugging on the little dagger, finally pulling it off, ink spurted out of it, drenching him.

Red ink.

'I swear, I must find some sort of banishing spell to get rid of that smarm-' He suddenly remembered the bundle of fur in his arms. 'Oh! Uh, its, uh,' He looked at Ron for help.

'Sam, what brings you here? Shouldn't you be reading?' Ron knelt in front of the hobbit, smiling warmly.

'Wh-what, who, that flying mons-monster-' He stuttered, blinking and staring at the direction Peeves had rushed off in. Ron scratched his head.

'Well, that was Peeves, resident Poltergeist, he just causes a lot of mischief, and annoys the hell out of every student around here, the teachers too.'

'Oh, and there are four more ghosts hanging about, so you don't get scared when you see them.' Hermoine added, Sam looked caught between crying and fainting.

'P-poltergeist? Ghosts? Good 'lor, this is a nightmare!' Sam mumbled rubbing his temples.

The Trio looked hurt. 'We're a nightmare, eh? Makes me feel wanted.' Mumbled Ron, Hermoine mumbling something similar, Harry said nothing, he had trouble keeping his face straight, unlike the others.

'You are all insane.' He said, sticking his tongue out.

'Come on, don't worry about Peeves or the other pair of jokers, they are just going insane from all the reading we have been doing, I am a little too.'

Now all four walked back into the library, sitting back at their table, pulling a chair, with a few extremely large books sitting on it as a sort of booster seat.

'What have you found so far?' Hermoine asked, looking at the hobbit, who looked down at his feet, muttering a response. 'Pardon?' She asked, smiling.

'Nothing.' He said a little laughter, quickly rushing to explain himself. 'What I mean is, all the books have the same information, just written up in different forms.'

Sighing she asked. 'So you are done with the books then?' Sam nodded

In unison, the three magic-users lifted their wands, and said 'Accio, books.' Immediately after which, Sam handed Hermoine the small list of information they had found.

'Did you hear something?' Harry suddenly asked

'No, relax Harry, nothing will attack us right now.' Ron joked, looking through one of the books, rolling his shoulders to stretch them at the same time.

'I am serious I just heard something.' Sam was looking around too.

'And I still say I don't and you are just going off the deep-' There was a sudden sound of shuffling, before _every_ single book in the library flew off the shelves and landed in an absolutely gargantuan pile on and around them.

There was a silence.

'Maybe we should have been more specific…'

------------------------------------------

Ch.1

coup d'etat - I hope it is ;

MadCrazyKid911 - I made a mental not to put the disclaimer too....thanks for pointing it out to me, glad ya like it

Ludicrious - Hope you don't have an addictive personality ;) I looked at your stories, and, although its the thought that counts, frankly I didn't like them all that much, I can respect stepping outside the lines, but your stories go a bit far, the torturing one, however, was not so bad (glances about) I'm not a sadist!

Woe is Me - READ DAMMIT!

Squashes - NEVER in love, come on, three sixteen year olds and a bunch of 40 year olds, ewwwwwwww, five of which need stools to be at chin height!.....(stores in plot bunny library) Heh...

halfblood princess and Summer - Thanks, writing is always really hit or miss with me, like I tried to take the play Spring Storm by Tennesse Williams and put it to Naruto characters, Sasuke doesn't work as Dick Miles.....yes the play has jokes about his name vv Anyway it was a total bomb out, I deleted it I was so emberassed by the outcome, ugh

Ch.2

halfblood princess and Summer - w00t for the frogs! we want more! yahoo!

coup d'etat - Thanks for reviewing again.

Ch.3

Hell's roses - Thank you, he can also be a hot-headed git ;)


	5. Spinnen and Dust Bunnies

Disclaimer: Don't own Rowlings junk, she is cool, her books are cool, I, however am not that cool…so I can never own 

Notes: Thankees **iamtherealmaverick **and **Phayze**, my saviours in beta form!

Chapter 5 

'Um, could you please remind me of why we have to clean this up without using magic again?' Hermoine asked, straightening up with an armload of books, swearing as some on the top fell off, back into the still daunting pile of books that lay all about them.

'Because we are awful children who don't know how important books are, or the librarians who put them away, we also take everything for granted and never give back or help anyone, we are the scum of the earth and better get the books back in their proper orders before midnight.' Ron quoted MmePince as he carefully dusted off one of the numerous shelves, he had lost count of the done ones at three hundred eighty two… that was sort of scary

'And don't forget we being miscreants, never forget that.' Harry added, huffing as he lifted up his own book load, teetering slightly on his already feet.

'She was really nice to me though, she seems like a sweet old dear.' They all turned to stare at Sam, who was going through the card catalogue, making sure it was in order,

of course, he didn't really have a choice, after accidentally toppling the entire thing an hour earlier.

'What is in that pipe-weed?' Ron asked, staring at him, a pause. 'Got any on you?' Both Harry and Hermoine shoved him back towards the shelves.

'Quiet about their pipes and get back to your shelves, once you are done those you have to come and help us sort through the books and put them up.'

'Er, sort?' Harry looked at her.

'Well, of course, since they are all down, we might as well look through them all and see if there are any that would be of any use that we could just keep off to the side.'

'Oh! Of course, that's what I thought you meant.' Harry brought the books to the area he had been restocking, looking carefully over the spines at the names.

Oh good, it was all different recipes and potions… he would be stuck with that section.

It took them until 11:34 on the dot to finish, before (librarians name) shooed them away, saying she would finish, obviously she didn't want them, or herself in trouble, and they were already well past curfew as it was.

The three stumbled down the halls, carrying the books in a small sack that had been enchanted to hold many things without growing, a great idea(1)

'We better-' Harry cut himself off with a jaw-cracking yawn. 'We better get Sam back to the rest of the group before they start to worry.' The others nodded in sleepy agreement.

It was late when they came to the hallway, taking the little mayor to his set of rooms.

'Sleep tight, don't let the _spinnen_ bite.' Ron warned, shivering, why they had been using Dutch terms in potions instead of English and Latinwas beyond him, but for some reason, the terms really stuck, like a spider web, on your face...

A surprised Harry caught Ron who had fallen into a dead faint.

'Is he going to be alright?' Sam asked, staring at the red head.

'Uh, sure he is, he is just um, he is just, oh hell, he is a sissy when it comes to spiders.' Hermoine said firmly, glancing down at the said sissy.

'Merlin, how much does he weigh? He must be double what he looks.' With a grunt, Harry tried to fix his hold on his friend, but only managed on dropping him on his head.

'…'

'Oops.'

'I really don't think he is going to be alright.'

Hermoine suddenly sighed, shoving Harry aside; shecast a simple spell, which had Ron levitating at her side in moments.

'Now wasn't that simple?' She snapped, before handing the bag to Sam. 'Don't worry, our school bags are loaded with books, and the fact you have nine readers to our three-'

'Eight, actually.' Sam said with a smile. 'But you have a point; eight to three is a big difference.'

'What do you mean eight? Did, did something happen?' Hermoine stared at him waiting for an answer.

'No! Relax, and … stop staring like that, you're scaring me a wee bit.' Sam took a breath, and Hermoine sighed, looking to one side.

'What I mean is, that Legolas, well, the little Legolas can talk for hours on end in common, but writing and reading are an entirely different matter.'

Harry wracked his brain, thinking. 'Legolas…he…um, is the littlest one that was very whiny right?' Hermoine hit the back of his head, for saying such a rude thing

'That would be our fearless elf warrior.' Sam chuckled.

Harry didn't ask, but decided it best that he read the books when all this was said and done…

Or burn every copy he ever found.

'Goodnight Mr. Gamgee.' Hermoine said, turning, Sam went as red as a cherry.

'Oh, gosh! No need to be so formal, I mean, it, I-' He took a breath, composing himself. 'Sam is fine, like the boys here have been calling me, and, uh,' With that went the poor little hobbits composure all over again, and he bowed and muttered a sort of good night, before opening and shutting the door, and opening it again to apologise for shutting it so hastily.

'So, shall I leave the spell to you, or does this warrant a visit to Pomfrey?' Hermoine asked as they came to one of many hallways, one of the easiest and least likely tomove that led to the hospital wing.

Harry looked closely down at his friend. 'We could take him, if only to be able to torture him for a bit about it.' They grinned at one another, before turning sharply, nearly giggling.

'Madame Pomfrey?' Harry knocked cautiously beforeentering the wing. Noone was there.

Hermoine set Ron down on one of the many beds, before she listened, nudging Harry lightly.

'Listen!' She hissed, practically a stage whisper.

The pair stood listening as they realised someone was talking nearby.

'I told you that those damned beetle things would make their way here! Just look at what they're doing in British Columbia, a damned hick society specialising in forestry crap and they can't do anything! They are going to totally destroy the fore-' Voice number one, Professor Sprout's maybe?

'I don't see what I have to do with this.' Definitely Pomfrey

'Well, you are a nurse, can't you…do…something?' It was a rather meek response at best.

'Nurse yes, for people, I am not some sort of tree doctor, you, you idiot! You are far more suited to take care of them, maybe Severus knows some sort of potion to keep the forest healthy, or talk to Dumbledore, just…get lost!' Madame Pomfrey snapped, stalking out of the room, holding the door for the poor, confused, Professor.

The pair waited silently as Professor Sprout passed them by, looking a little more than bewildered at the very un-Pomfrey like outburst.

'Maybe we should just take him back before she-' Hermoine started, before a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

'Eep.'

'Miss Granger, what is it?' Came a dark query from the local school nurse.

'Uh, you know, I, um, it really isn't all that, you know, important, he will be, fine, and, um…' She stuttered on a few moments before she was stopped.

'Save it, I take it you are here for Mister Weasley, as he is the one rather unconscious on the bed.' Not a question.

'Er, yeah, he sort of, had a fit and fainted, he warned someone about spiders.' Harry spoke up, not noticing the unconscious form shudder at the mere mention of the word.

'He just talked about it? This is getting ridiculous!-' There was as sudden burst of laughter, though no one could tell from where.

' Er, right, well,I think he had better see some sort of psychiatrist, get rid of this thing once and for all.' Hermoine raised a brow.

'Do they really work? I mean, some of the stories of what they have done are really…' She fell silent at the pair of cold stares she was sent.

'They work, trust me.' Harry said calmly.

'When did you go?' Hermoine asked, before clapping a hand over her mouth.

'End of fifth year, still go once a month.' That explained the absences that had been occurring.

'Well, it is, good that you are getting help.' She gave her friend a pat on the back. Heimmediately turned red.

'I am not insane 'Moine.' He hissed, glaring now.

'Oh, of course, no one is insane.' She cooed, patting his shoulder.

'Merlin life sucks.' Harry muttered, before stalking over to a seat and falling into it, waiting for his sissy of a friend to wake up.

'And you have anger problems that really needed to be worked out too.'

Harry left the room.

TBC

Spinnen: 'spiders' in Dutch, without the 's' it is just spin (I plan to use this muchly…I love torturing Ron)

I play _way_ too much D&D people, usually threatened into playing or guilted… still play too much.

Review Answers

iamtherealmaverick: Think it was good then, you must be blown away now ;-)…heheh, without you two it would be utter crap though

JakKat: bows Thankies Hey, ya know, if you happen to know Naruto, I really need a beta for that, let me know if you are willing to do that, cause frankly, I have a bad feeling that story is goin' nowhere fast.

the7bells: Okay, okay, so, in this chapter, there was no Merry and Pippin, trust me, I love writing these two, and the next chapter will be chalked full of these two brats, heheheh… I have a lot of mischief planned for them, growing up doesn't help them

Goddes of Idun: Wow! Thank you


	6. Giggles and Weasleys

Disclaimer: w00t to Rowling and Tolkien, all this stuff is theres, I just 'borrowed' it for awhile...heh

Notes: Hi again... this was probably the easiest chapter to write so far, I think I officially have a favourite story ;;;  
Anyway, I promised you Merry and Pippin, you guys get Merry and Pippin! Enjoy... and I know how I said no crossing over relationships... but... well, you will see...sweatdrops

Thankies to iamtherealmaverick! You are wondaful, unfortunately I couldn't get Phayze's input for this chapter since she seems to have dropped out of time and space... now if you will excuse me, I will be using this rope and pulley to open up a tear and find her Enjoy the story!

CHAPTER 6

'Merry, do you think we should really be walking around here? I mean, its not like we know where anything is.' Pippin whispered, looking up at one of the numerous suits of armour…

He could swear it smiled.

'Oh, come on, don't be such an old maid.'

'Hey!'

'I declare, married life has ruined your sense of adventure.'

'Oh shut up, I just have some sense in my head finally, unlike you, obviously.'

'Sense is an annoying thing, who needs it when you have instincts?'

'You know my instincts only lead to trouble.'

With an exasperated sigh Merry grabbed Pippin's wrist, giving it a tug as he started walking.

'Come on, who knows what we might find? Besides, we are safe, nothing will get us, trust me!'

'You are going to be the death of me.' Grumbled Pippin, before allowing himself to be dragged down the long hallway.

* * *

'Weehee!' Came a sudden shrill squeal from a tiny elfling.

'Legolas, I am getting tired, get Aragorn to swing you.' Grumbled a rather winded Boromir.

'But you swing me higher than he does… he thinks that he might hurt me.' The tiny elf huffed to show his annoyance.

Boromir looked down at the tiny child and sighed.

'You have far too much energy.'

'Nuh-uh, you just don't got enough.' Suddenly his eyes grew sad. 'Or maybe you just don't like me.' Tears pricked the corner of his bright little eyes.

Boromir groaned. 'One more time, that's it.'

It was another half an hour before he was free.

'I hate children.' He grumbled, falling onto the couch, the tiny elf still full of energy was chasing the tiny fur, covered _aanbiddelijk_ around, it would let out what seemed to be a happy squeal and shoot off. The tiny elf would just catch up to it when the ball of fluff would let out another squeal and the cycle would repeat itself.

Aragorn came walking in, book in hand.

'Enjoying yourself I see.' He smiled, looking down at Boromir. A growl answered him.

'Quiet, you try swinging him for over an hour, then talk to me.' Boromir attempted to move. 'If you have the energy to talk that is.'

'You are too old for your time.'

'Oh of course, good lord just let me get back to the correct time.' He yelped as a strange hard object hit his head,

hard.

'What the devil was that-'

'Read, while the little brat is distracted, only way you are going to get back.' With that, Aragorn turned, smirking, and deposited himself in a chair before the fire.

'Moronic kings, so high and mighty…' Boromir snarled, but nonetheless opened his book.

* * *

'Merry, where in the world are you taking me?' Pippin huffed, glaring at his long time friend.

'I heard that there is more to this castle than you can guess, I just want to see how much more that is.' He no longer was tugging Pippin's arm, instead he was calmly persuading him to keep going with words.

'Heard from who?'

Uh, I read it in one of the books, twisting stairs, and did you see how Sam was acting when he got back from wherever he was? Looked like he had seen a ghost!' He didn't know how true his words were.

'If you already know what is in this castle, then what is the point of searching it out? Come on, lets just go back to our rooms and keep searching-'

'Mushrooms.' One word, one little word.

Slowly, very slowly, Pippin turned a defeated look on his face. Suddenly a grin found its way, covering it.

'Took you long enough to get to the point, now come on, we just have to find a picture of a bowl of fruit…' Pippin raced ahead, leaving a very confused Merry in his wake.

'Pippin, hey! Get back here!' Merry chased after him, completely bewildered at what had just happened.

* * *

Meanwhile…

'Bor'mir?' Legolas suddenly said, hopping up onto Boromir's outstretched legs.

'What is it?' He asked, still focused on what he was reading.

'Why do you all sit around reading all of the time?'

'So we can all get back home.'

'Why do we have to go back?'

'So we can live our lives proper and save the world.' Boromir ended the sentence with a sarcastic tone.

'Why do we have to save a world?'

Boromir blinked. 'So everyone can live to the fullest and not in fear of pain and death.'

'Oh.' Legolas turned away, hopped down to the floor and sat down with a box of pencil crayons and bits of parchment.

* * *

Ten Minutes Later…

'Boooooooor'mir.'

_Give me strength_ 'Yes Legolas?'

'Why are we all stuck here?'

'Because some kids got an idea that went very wrong.'

'Why did it go wrong?'

'I can't remember, why don't you play with the andbidelj- abidnj- the furry thing?' Boromir glanced about the room, not seeing the creature, and also noting all the parchment was full.

'Can't play, it went _poof_!' Legolas fell backwards as he spread his arms suddenly, letting out the sound.

Aragorn laughed.

Giggling Legolas sat up, repeating the motion.

'I want to swing!'

With a groan, Boromir grabbed a throw cushion and covered his head.

Aragorn wisely left the room, unnoticed.

A rather random thought suddenly entered his mind. _Where in the world are those twin hobbits?

* * *

_

'The pear?' Merry's voice queried.

'How should I know, here, I need to stand on your shoulders to try and tickle these grapes!' Pippin suddenly fell with an _oomph!_ as his last attempt to jump and reach the higher grapes.

'How in the world do you tickle a picture anyway? It is just paint on a canvas.'

'How should I know now -_oof_- get over here!' Pippin swatted at Merry.

'I really think we should try the pear…' Merry huffed, not used to being the one bossed around. It seemed time had given Pippin a bit of a stronger will.

Merry laced his fingers together, making a step for Pippin to use, and, with a smile, he promptly did.

The pair immediately fell over.

'How much weight have you packed on? I don't think that is safe, even for a hobbit.' A pause. 'Where are you hiding all of it?'

Pippin blushed angrily. 'I have not packed on all that much weight! 'Lor knows that Faramir keeps me busy, all those damned games…' Pippin huffed. 'You are just weak.'

'Faramir? What are you- wait a second! I am _not_ weak!' Merry raised a fist, glaring at his cousin.

'Are too.' Pippin stuck out his tongue childishly, trying to hold back the grin.

'You, my friend, are impossible.' With that he pounced, tackling the still smaller hobbit, the pair rolling on the ground in a play fight.

A cough stopped them in their tracks.

'If you boys are quite done.' A deep cold voice called from behind them.

'Are we in trouble Pip?' Merry whispered.

Carefully Pippin looked around, seeing a tall dark man with a hooked nose and a sneer permanently on his face.

'I think we are in a lot of trouble.'

'Why are you two not in class?'

'Class?' The answer came from both.

'Yes, you know, the place you go to learn, if you do not inform me immediately I will be forced to hand out a detention.'

The two hobbits shared a look.

'Well sir, you see, we, don't have any class right now, and we were just-'

'Walking about and sort of fell into a joke fight.' Merry quickly finished for Pippin.

'Dear Merlin, its another version of the Weasley twins.' Severus Snape groaned, closing his eyes, for a moment the new set of twins thought he started laughing, before they realised it was coming from somewhere far down the hall behind them.

Wisely the pair kept their mouths shut.

'Ah, there you two are, I have been forced to come and collect you.' Came another cold voice, this one they recognised.

'Oh, come off it Gandalf, you know you love us.' Merry joked, earning an angry glare from the wizard.

'Come along before I am forced to make you.' A sneer to rival that of the man standing just off to the side.

'I was just scolding this pair… you are a rather new face, who are you?' Snape suddenly realised he had no idea who the man was.

'My name is Olorin and if you don't mind, I must get these two back to their rightful quarters before that damned human starts whining at me again.'(1) Olorin looked up at the potions master, eyes locking.

Snape quickly turned away, hiding a blush that rose on his cheeks.

'Fine then, see to it that these two aren't wandering about again.' With that he fled the scene.

Merry and Pippin watched the retreating back with a blank stare, before turning to see an odd look on Gandalf's face.

The pair fell into hysterics almost immediately.

* * *

1. I don't care what you say, the LotR wizards just ain't human!(the fact they crossed in the boats with the elves sorta hints, but ya know, not everyone knows the history so…)

Review Answers

Chapter 2

Hey-Ima-Person: Wayne is my hero eyrie smile, starts petting random cat.

Chapter 5

the7bells: Merry, Pippin, and Legolas goodness... And yark! Hold on! Absolutely no Hermione/Sam, that...that is really creepy. And don't you ever dare think he wouldforget Rosie! He is happy with her thankyouverymuch. v.v

iamtherealmaverick: I am thinking of making you a permanent background creepy person, I did it in one of my other stories, with one of my friends who whined till she got her part in it, popping up in windows, underneath doors, in showers...etc, etc, what do ya think?

JakKat: Thanks for rev- Don't...Know...Naruto? Are you living in a box? You don't know what you are missing! Go, look, find, mine for it are crap, and yeah most definitely anime...realises she overreacted, calms down I like torturing the characters pets tarantula Love torturi-stares at tarantula AH!

Hey-Ima-Person: DD, Eberon, Buffyverse, Whitewolf's stuff, you name it I probably have played it (I am slowly being turned to enjoy Risk -shudder-) Too bad you don't live within an area of goodness for gaming, ever heard of V-con or Gem-con? Fun stuff, heheh. I also adore many many animes and mangas. Ever heard of DearS? Hilarious, if a little perverted...yeah ;;;


	7. I Have ANOTHER Plan!

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry, or Ron, or Hermione, or Draco, or any of the Dursleys, no Death Eaters, None of the other good guys… from either book…. Nor Sauron, me and many friends think he is quite hot under that armour….

Notes: BOOM! That is all. Thank you

**iamtherealmaverick** is like a superhero! And she is so cool Especially now I know she is a she... ... ...ehehehe

CHAPTER 7

'Oh no, no, no!' Hermione snarled, literally snarled, tossing a book down, before running her hands through her overly frizzy hair.

'Relax 'Mione, everything will be fine, we just have to keep looking.' Harry soothed. He had never seen her so careless with _any_ books, her personality seemed as frazzled as her hair over all this.

'Don't you _dare_ tell _me_ to relax Harry Potter, I. Am. Fine.' She stressed in an unnatural voice, before burying herself in another book, how there could be so many on one subject baffled Harry.

Harry sat quietly, still searching the book he had. Ron had disappeared, after exhausting his pile, most likely to search out more.

A few more minutes passed before a sudden banging door alerted them to a new person in the library.

'Not taking the beetles seriously, Merlin, it will destroy the whole forest…' The pair quietly watched as Professor Sprout walked passed them and into the Restricted Section of the library… muttering non stop, they heard a familiar voice answering a moment later, Sam.

'Think we should-' Harry was immediately cut off.

'Don't know, don't care, we have enough problems of our own.' Hermione snapped at him, scratching sharply with her quill on the parchment as she found a long monotonous paragraph that might prove worthwhile.

Harry unconsciously moved his chair away from her, a little bit afraid… maybe it was just that time of the month, or… or… well he hoped, whatever it was, it was a natural thing that could right itself, really, _really_ soon.

He suddenly felt a hand pat his back, nearly falling off his seat. Maybe he should have taken up those extra lessons that Dumbledore had been talking about, the ones that would sharpen his senses. Now he definitely was reconsidering it as he turned, to be met with a mysterious boy, no girl-with the face covered with her dark hair like that she had looked like a boy- towered over him, smirking.

Well, not really towering… she was too short to do that, he glanced down, noting she was on tiptoe.

'Don't worry mate, she will be right as rain by the end of this story.' The extremely pale girl frowned. 'I mean by the end of you fixing this mess somehow… which I am sure you will… and…. um…' The girl suddenly looked uncomfortable and with a nervous bye and wave, she sprinted out of the library, leaving Harry to stare.

'Herm, that girl who just was here-'

'What girl?'

'The one who was just behind me, talking.'

Hermione blinked, giving him a funny look. 'Ron is right, you really are going nuts aren't you?'

'I am not!' Harry muttered indignantly.

'Uh huh, find anything more?' Harry shook his head, turning back to the book.

Both looked up when Ron came running up to them, an excited look in his eyes.

'Ron, did you find t-' Hermione was cut off by an excited redhead.

'Guys, I know this sounds weird, but…' With that he was off and running with his idea.

* * *

'We weren't doing anything! We were just taking a look around the grounds-' 

'-and we knew that it was safe-'

'-not to mention the fact we are both full grown hobbits-'

'-we didn't think we would have to ask your permission, we are the same bloody age!'

The pair of 'twin' hobbits finished, yelling out the last part together, startling Aragorn.

'That may be, but this is not where you are used to, and you should not be out wandering around all over the place, it just isn't safe.' Aragorn turned curiously as the door slammed closed, Sam's handiwork it seemed, he followed the hobbit with his eyes as he plucked up his coat and the few packets of things he had had in his pockets before being brought to Hogwarts. A moment later he hurried back out with only a glance and a nod at the three of them.

'Oh, playing favourites are we then? Why is it _he_ can do as he pleases, while _we_ get a scolding?'

'Because _he_ is going out to help one of the teachers with some sort of plant problem, you two however were just trying to sneak around and do who knows what.'

'Besides the point.' Merry muttered, turning to go and sit down, he ignored the snoring Boromir on one of the couches.

'Loud isn't he?' Pippin smiled, jumping into the chair beside him.

'So, what do you think of that greasy thing in hall that was practically swooning over Gandalf?' Merry said, mainly to get the fact out of what they had got to watch.

'**He was not swooning**!' Olorin bellowed from behind a door that connected to the next room.

'He was, he is just too embarrassed to admit it.' Aragorn was chuckling at it all.

'Gandalf, someone having a crush on Gandalf, never thought I would see the day…' An indignant shout came from the door again, waking Boromir.

'whuzhapnin? Wherthor's?' He fumbled at his side, looking for the sword that wasn't there, but leaning against his bed, three rooms away.

'Nothing is happening 'Mir, we were just poking fun at someone mooning over Gandalf.

With an almighty yawn Boromir said 'I never thought I would see the day that someone went after him.' He let out another yawn.

'That is definitely highly agreed with.' Merry snickered.

'They would make a good couple though wouldn't they?' Pippin said absently, suddenly throwing himself out of his seat with a squawk as a series of random objects were thrown at him from the now opened door, they saw a glaring, _blushing_, face glare out from the crack in the door, before disappearing again

'It would appear the feelings are mutual.' Aragorn said, laughing as he ducked an odd racket thing hurrying out of the room.

* * *

Ron hefted up the potion ingredients, as Hermione opened the bag, Harry held another armload of carefully sorted items to go inside. 

'I really hope this works.' Harry mumbled after the next armload had been taken from him.

'Come on, we have to get and round them all up.' Quickly they left, rushing down to the rarely used corridor.

* * *

Sam fell onto the ground with an appreciative sigh. He was covered in dirt, and it looked like the majority of his packets had been used, Sprout fell to the ground beside him. 

'I cannot thank you enough Mr. Gamgee, with all your help, I think we just might beat these bugs!' She had a smile the size of a canyon on her face.

'Just call me Sam and-' he paused to yawn. '- don't worry about it, I do however feel that a nap would be perfect right now.' He stood, with a smile and a wave made his way back to the castle. He had nearly gotten to the doors when they burst open, revealing the trio, followed by the rest of the fellowship

'Sam! Hurry up! They think they've finally figured _something_ out!' Frodo cried out, not meaning to sound so exasperated on the something. He was quite excited, though he paused, shielding his eyes from the sunlight. Being cooped up in his room undisturbed to read since they had gotten their first books had not left him to many sun rays.

'What? Really?' His eyes shone. 'Oh boy! I hope Daisy and all are all right and oh dear, all the paper work that must have piled up and-' Ron covered his mouth.

'Relax and come with us, if we do this right you might not have to worry about that at all…'

With that the large party hurried back inside, unknown to them, they were watched from one of the many windows that were part of Hogwarts.

'An idea hm? This might prove interesting.'

* * *

Well, all things must come to an end, this will be soon, I do have a sort of story I am figuring out as a follow up of sorts... why does no one know 

Review Answers

iamtherealmaverick: No longer in the background creep... now scaring them all over the place. Heheh

the7bells: Makes me feel bad, did I take that long? sniffle I am kidding, I will try to be better for it... damned school.


	8. The Final Passage and A Perverts Reveale...

Disclaimer: I am not even going to write a thing… you should know the drill by now.

Notes: This is… this is… I can't say it. -sniffle- you will see…

**iamtherealmaverick**: Thankees for all your amazing help on this story, really could not have done it with out ya man… er gal…-cough-

CHAPTER 8

'This might take some time.' Hermione said, rolling up the sleeves of her cloak, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth absently as she carefully starts to read and follow a book, turning the pages backward. She winced at something in the text, carefully pondering to herself, before continuing on. Whatever the problem was, she obviously would take care of it. Well they had hoped she would take care of it.Ron was absently looking through all the different ingredients, seeming to categorise them randomly, until they were all in place. First by alphabet, then by their weight, colour, smell, so on and so on. How he had learned it was beyond Harry, _I mean, we've been studying and searching, sure, but this is really way to out of it for 'Moine_.Not the fidgeting, but the knowing such precise details about potions ingredients.

'What is she doing?' Pippin asked, looking thoroughly confused, as he watched Hermione at work.

'She,' Started Harry, 'is currently working the spell we did to accidentally bring you here backwards.'

'Is that possible?' Olorin asked, frowning at no one in particular. The first time he had spoken since the, er, _door incident_.

'What d'you mean?' Aragorn asked, glancing up from the play fight he and Legolas were having.

'What I mean,' Olorin started a superior tone to his voice. 'Is that many of the things that you would mix together react in a certain way together, and may react differently when put in a different way, a certain mix of the items may be unstable without the addition of a previously stated ingredient. In other words, this could very well blow up in her face... literally.' He had a small smirk on his face, as if the thought of her getting embarrassed or hurt amused him. It probably did.

'Maybe so,' Harry snapped back at him. 'But I really doubt that, she is far too resourceful to have that happen, why-'

'Would you kindly _shut up?' _Hermione snapped, glaring at the group in general. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked as if she hadn't slept in days, which was probably all too true. Harry immediately snapped his mouth shut, moving to her side as she beckoned him over. 'Well Harry, since you _were_ a rather large help in the first try, mind if I use you again?'

'Of course not, I still stand by my reservations...' After a pause he leaned a bit closer to her. 'You _did_ take into account the, er, blowy-uppy threats didn't you?' Harry whispered, frowning at her.

'Of course I did, it will be a little difficult, but we all should make it out of this room alive.' She smiled absently, when suddenly the door whipped open, a dark looming figure standing in the doorway.

'What the devil is going on in here?' Came Snape's growling voice.

'Crap.' Three voices rose in chorus, Ron, Hermione, and Harry shared a glance.

Walking further into the room, Snape peered down at them, a cold malicious look covering his face. 'So, this is where my potions' ingredients have been disappearing to I see. Well, twenty points taken for each of you, and two weeks detention will make a good start.' Sniffed Snape, taking in the hobbits in that count, along with their feet, blinking, he obviously hadn't noticed the 'twins' feet during their first meeting.

'Now sir, I am positive you are overreacting, if you look over the ingredients, you will note that most of them are something any wizard with a little common sense and a coin in his pocket could get a hold of. There really is no reason to punish these hum-ah, children.'. Olorin barely caught himself, a cold smile on his face.

'Ah- I- uh- I d- well-' Snape looked extremely flustered as he saw the man standing a few feet from him, both had a slight tinge of blush on their cheeks. 'Fine then, but, I'll be w-watching you.' His glare at the trio was ruined by the still very visible blush on his cheeks.

There was a silence as the dark foreboding figure scurried out of the room, muttering to himself.

'Huh, who knew it? Snape fancy blokes.' No one noticed as Hermione snapped her fingers.(1)

'Gandalf too.' Chirped Ron, smirking. 'You really have to question why he originally went to visit Bilbo.' Frodo visible paled.

'That is a very disturbing thought.' He muttered, shuddering.

Boromir shook his head. 'I am just pretending that was never said.' Many heads nodded in agreement.

'It was a joke, truly, calm down, I am sure th-' Pippin found himself cut off.

Peregrin Took, shut your mouth before I do so for you by force.' Growled Merry, giving him a menacing stare, causing the smallest of _eeps_ to come from Pippin.

'Er, right then, now lets try to get you all through then?' Ron said with an awkward smile plastered on his face.

He quickly rounded the nine together as Hermione flipped to the starting page, wincing, she attempted to say the passage backwards.

'Tyrouf tiuroov tgnerb, teh tsmokeot ed teew, teh nedeh teh teew, nedelrev teh nek.'(2) She said carefully, her face screwed up in concentration.

'Now that is a mouthful.' Mumbled Sam appreciatively. And very suddenly, he seemed to fade into the background.

'What in the world? Sam, Sam!' Frodo frantically waved his hands through his disappearing gardener, and stared in shock as he too began to disappear.

Slowly the entire fellowship disappeared, watching with slight awe as each did, until Olorin was left.

'Er, that man in the black cloak, could you give him this for me?' He asked, blushing furiously as he handed Hermione a note. He gave a curt smile as she nodded. 'Thank you.' He said quietly, as he disappeared with a whisper of sound.

'So… do we look at it now, or later?'

A moment later the trio was pouring over the personal contents of the letter, all slowly going white as they perused it.

'And I thought you could be a pervert.' Muttered Hermione, giving Harry a look.

'It was one dirty magazine, _one_!' He cried, throwing his hands in the air as he turned and stalked out of the room, face blazing.

'Pulls a great Snape.' Snickered Ron, hurrying after, trailed a few moments later by a very laden down Hermione.

Frodo sat quietly in one of Imladris' gardens, staring out over one of the many small pools created by the gargantuan waterfall spilling down the rocky face that seemed a part of the city itself. He looked up slowly as an extremely young man and a wise looking blond elf walked over to him.

'Frodo?' Asked Legolas quietly, looking the hobbit up and down.

He received a nod.

'Those kids really screwed up didn't they?'

Another nod.

'So how old are you now?'

'87'

And Sam?'

'He was put in Merry's time, Pippin in Sam's and Merry took Pippin's. How was your luck?' Asked the venerable and very grumpy hobbit.

'I was sent and switched with Gandalf, and he with me, and you and Aragorn…' Legolas could not help smiling.

'So, Boromir is the only one not switched?' Frodo asked.

'Would seem so.' Mused Aragorn, looking quite youthful for a fifty year old.

'Some really have all the luck.' Mumbled Frodo playing with a certain ring absently.

_Somewhere near a certain river…_

Boromir lay at the base of a tree, he could feel the life draining from him.

'I _hate_ wizards, some have all the luck.'

Finis

1. I think this MUST be my least favourite pairing for the HP universe(that is Hermione and Snape), aside from those involving Crabbe and/or Goyle... and Peeves. Now THAT was a disturbing story . Why are some people so sick-minded?(because we love it, you know you do…)

2. Reverse that: Ken het verleden, weet het heden het, weet de toekomst het, brengt vooruit fourty something along the lines of... Know the past, know the present, know the future, bring forth the fourty… in Dutch… I try, I suck, meh.. ;

Review Replies

iamtherealmaverick: I don't know why I thought you were a guy… just struck me as a guy, maybe the fact a guy friend from my town uses maverick in his mailing address, and one of my fur buddies goes by mave… they all cool, thusly, you are too. One more thing, not a creep, a weirdo!

the7bells: There most likely will be a sequel… you cool with hangin' with some of the best shinobi around? Fluffy? O.O;;; Erp… actually that would have been a good idea d'oh!

JakKat: Trust me, the pairing is for completely comical purposes... heheh.


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